If Jesus Had Been an Action Movie Star…

…his top ten quotes.  Can you name the movies?

10. (to the money-changers in the Temple)  I have come to chew bitter herbs and to kick ass…and I’m all out of bitter herbs.

9.  (when threatened by the Pharisees)  Yippee kai ay, stiff-necked sons of Abraham!

8.  You’re a funny guy Herod.  I like you.  I’ll condemn you last.

7.  Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.  A man’s got to know his limitations.

6.  (at the arrest) Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty stiff-necked sons of Abraham!

5.  (when awakened during the storm)  We need a bigger boat.

4.  (frustrated with the sleeping apostles) You lack discipline!

3. (to the Sanhedrin’s cries of “Blasphemy!”) If I’m not me, then who the hell am I?

2.  (to Satan in the desert)  C’mon Devil. You don’t want to use Scripture, you want to take that pitchfork, stick it in me and twist it – c’mon, let’s party!

And the #1 “What Jesus would have said if He’d been an action movie star…”

1. (to Pilate after he condemned Him)  I’ll be back.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Faith, Humor

3 Comments on “If Jesus Had Been an Action Movie Star…”

  1. Sebastian Says:

    Hello Tom! Funny stuff…when are you going on tour? I look forward to really diving into your blog. Also, thank you for following my blog at Faith1st Ministry. I hope it has and will continue to be a major blessing in your life. May God richly bless you as you continue to write and blog. Please continue with us on this journey and remember to have Faith 1st. — Sebastian


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