Failure To Lunch

Howdy y’all.  I haven’t blogged in quite awhile, focusing all my energies on job search, and it ostensibly paid off.  I got a contract gig doing application testing.  The pay’s not going to get me a property on Lake Lanier, but it will help pay the bills, and word is that delicious Lion’s Cup coffee is all-you-can drink, and when the company makes quota, they have Krispy Kremes in the break room too.

But, so far it has failed to launch.  I was told on the Friday before last Monday that the start date was moved up a week, and then last Friday I was told the executive that has to sign the P.O. has been out, so “middle of next week” is the new start date.  The most recent news about the shrinking economy makes me wonder if a “we’ve changed our minds” isn’t in the offing.  I’ve heard many such stories in the last 4-1/2 years, and they make me nervous.  My favorite is the guy who went through the whole on-boarding process – got his badge and everything – and instead of having his first lunch with his boss and/or co-workers had someone from HR come in and tell him they were letting him go – budget retrenchment.  As Bob Costas would say, that’s gotta hurt!  In other job-related news I haven’t heard back from one entity, but I did have a 2nd phone interview with another – the guy who would be my boss – and it felt like it went very well.  This was for a position on their corporate IT audit team.  If I made the cut I’ll be interviewing in person and having lunch with my potential co-workers.  He told me the decision on who to bring in will be made at a meeting today.  This is a real job with excellent pay and bennies, along with 30% travel, some of which is international: it would be cool if I got to visit Germany where my son (First Lieutenant, Army) and daughter-in-law are stationed on the company’s dime.  I’m trying to be realistic here: I have no actual auditing experience, and once they lay eyes on me and it’s between me and a kid out of college, could be dicey.  Hopefully I can impress them with what my experience and certifications bring to the table.  And I can’t come shuffling in like Walter Matthau in “Grumpy Old Men”: maybe something like “Wow, nothing like starting the day with red-hot monkey-love, a 10-mile run, and a shower!” as I shake hands with everyone sets the right tone.

Even the most ardent partisan has to admit our President does not seem to put intense priority on getting people back to work.  That would seem to rank behind gun control, immigration reform, and driving the Republicans before him, burning their houses and savoring the lamentations of their women.  Oh well.  Unemployed people don’t buy stuff like season tickets to NFL games and boutique pet grooming, which are the primary drivers of our economy.  A lot of bad news of late: e.g. the aforementioned negative growth of the economy 4th quarter; the many jobs replaced by technology that are never coming back.  We can only hope future human ingenuity gives people new stuff to do, like laser fungal toenail removal.

A big disappointment last Wednesday night at Toastmasters: the Table Topic question (where you have to speak with no preparation) was “If you got to spend a day with someone from history, who would it be and why?”  None of the 6 participants said Jesus Christ, which to me is a no-brainer for a Christian – which I knew at 4 of the 6 people to be.  To quote C.S. Lewis “Either Christianity is the most important thing in the world, or it’s not important at all – there is no middle ground.”  The winner said Princess Di, who may have been a wonderful person but from all reports had cottage cheese for brains.  The other selected figures were John D. Rockefeller (?), Charles Lindbergh, Abraham Lincoln (hopefully that day Abe didn’t have Mary Todd’s famous country sausage, lentils and navy beans skillet for breakfast), Mikhail Gorbachev (that Raisa, purrrrr…), and John Lennon (!).

Of course I would say Jesus. And if that wish were actually granted it would be just my luck our day would be the one where He cleansed the Temple, and He would delegate the whip of cords to me and say “Unleash Hell my son.”  And before I overturned one money table a temple guard the size and temperament of Stone Cold Steve Austin would put the Flying Jewish Atomic Elbow Drop (as described in Leviticus) on me.  Oy, someone get the number of that bus…

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Explore posts in the same categories: Faith, Humor, Job Search

One Comment on “Failure To Lunch”

  1. Gene Says:

    Tom,

    I hope you get the real job & not the one where donuts count more than signing a PO.

    Gene


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