The Lent Trap: Definitely a Fire Hazard

It is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  So far today I’m adhering to the rules of fast and abstinence: no breakfast, and a very not Tex-sized portion of salmon and hash browns for lunch.  Wifey and I are meeting at the church for Mass this evening, and planning to attend the men’s club fish fry afterwards.  That greatly anticipated rendezvous with some perfectly seasoned baked cod is still over three hours away.  Ouch.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.  I swear that leftover chicken patty was actually talking to me the last time I peeked in the fridge, like the Emperor to Luke Skywalker:  You want this, don’t you?  Take some bread and mayonnaise, wolf me down with it.  I may go open a can of tuna but I’ll just smell the lid, I swear.  Here fishy fishy fishy….

I’m actually trying a little different kind of “giving something up” during Lent.  It’s actually something more intimidating to me than giving up God’s purest source of joy on Earth, P-nut M & Ms.  I’m going to abstain from the media I love: TV news and sports, and reading the paper.  No “O’Reilly Factor” the next 40 days.  No ESPN.  No “Dilbert”.  No Cleveland Browns message board, where posters sling “moron” and “idiot” and “a$$hole” at each other because they disagree on the talent and potential of Colt McCoy, or the merits of the 3-4 defense versus the 4-3.  My spouse has pointed out to me my annoying habit of yelling at the TV, like Joy Behar can hear me and be influenced, and I think this created a level of awareness that maybe I’m a bit information oversaturated.  We live in a highly distractible culture, without a doubt.  My trepidation is I’m risking being viewed as stupid and shallow until Easter comes:

 (Dave and Tom at the water cooler)

“Hey Tom, what do you think about the Browns signing Joe Flacco?”

“They did that? When did that happen?”

“You don’t know that? You call yourself a Browns fan?  Liar.”


 “Hey Tom, what do you think about the North Koreans nuking Flint, Michigan?”

“They did that? When did that happen?”

“You don’t know that?  Unpatriotic scumbag.”

It is my hope that into this vacuum Christ will enter in.  As St. Augustine said, our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.  May all Christian men and women of good will have a meaningful Lent and a joyous Easter!

Explore posts in the same categories: Catholicism, Faith, Humor

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: