Never go Grumpy Cat 5

The nice lady that does Adoration after me just sent me an email about an elementary school in Oregon that has given permission for a satanic temple to sponsor an after-hours club.  The email contains links to petitions to fight this initiative.  I was a bit dumbfounded (Got to be a hoax!) and with some googling found out it is genuine:

Now I’m not going to let my blood pressure rise over this too much yet, noting the kids have to have parental permission to be part of the club.  I’m guessing this is more of a publicity thing, and when the one or two kids who have demented parents show up for the frothy excitement of rational humanism, the club will quickly die a natural death.  Still, this little news note of joy makes me marvel….

…that God loves each and every one of us unconditionally.  We in the majority seem to be a pack of passion-addled violent stark-raving lunatics.  Fallen nature?  Good gravy, our “nature” seems to have taken a 150-foot cliff dive into 3 feet of water.  Where was the Nancy Reagan-like “Just say no” angel when the forbidden fruit was offered to that dim-witted woman and her lunk-headed spouse? (And speaking of angels, why are they all either muscular blonde California surfer dudes or babies?  And male babies to boot?  How do I know they are male?  Well, in the absence of a cloud wisp or a conveniently placed head, the babies always have…ahem…male equipment.  But I digress. These are questions for the next great council, probably the Council of Cleveland.)  It makes me go Grumpy Cat 5 when I think that – with a little bit of self-control on the part of Adam and Eve, pathetic dopes – I and everyone else would

  • enjoy continuous spectacular weather
  • eat the very best organic produce
  • have spectacular physiques
  • run around naked without shame (no “Does this make me look fat?” questions)
  • after a leisurely day of light raking and hoeing, enjoy some “being fruitful and multiplying” (rowrr!)
  • have any kind of pet I want – lion, cobra, great white shark – doesn’t matter
  • sleep like a baby, CPAP not necessary
  • best of all, be immortal, never be bored, tired, anxious, or grumpy.

I’m sure when I confront Adam about this, he wlll play the Curly Howard “I was a victim of circumstances!” card.  I guess the good news is that when this meeting takes place, I will have been purged of my desire to give him the Moe Howard double-eye poke.


Explore posts in the same categories: Catholicism, Faith, Humor

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